Hello everyone!
Having worked in the communication business for years, made many mistakes my self and learned some valuable lessons along the way. I want to share these lessons with you in the hope that you can apply these lessons in any context where you are trying to communicate with another person in writing. (emails, text message, forums, etc) I hope you find them useful. 
Assume it’s being read in the worst possible way
Whenever I write to someone, I read what I wrote and assume it’s going to be read in the most critical way possible. I don’t know why this is true but I’ve seen this happen over and over again. Regardless of how innocent the writers intentions are, 9/10 the reader will interpret the writers intent in a more harsh way than the writer intended. There’s a funny sketch by Key & Peele that does a good job illustrating this phenomenon.
I find that the best way to compensate for this is to make sure that I’m explicitly communicating my tone as well. I think of it a little like stage acting. You can’t get up on a stage and deliver a line as you would in day to day life. You need to exaggerate your intentions. Say what you will about emojis but, they are also a helpful tool for expressing tone in writing. For instance read these two sentences and see if you notice a difference in how you interpret my intention:
- Thanks for the suggestion Robert.
- Thanks for the suggestion Robert!
My reaction to those two sentences as a reader is completely different. And I wrote them! The first one could be interpreted as sarcastic. The second sentence I can see that the writer is telling me: “I appreciate your suggestion.” It’s a subtle difference but leaves little room for misinterpretation. The point is if you’re grateful or appreciative, add that! If you write “thanks I really appreciate your input” you leave no room for misunderstanding about how you’re feeling about what the other person wrote.
Resolving Conflicts over Text, Emails or Forums is virtually impossible
Think back to those times where you had a conflict with someone (partner, family, work, neighbor) and you drafted what you thought was a totally reasonable eloquent response and basically got a f’ you back. We all have AT LEAST one. I know I do… 
The solution? Don’t send that email OR respond to it. Pick up the phone. Get a cup of coffee or a beer. Meet in person and have a difficult conversation. I’m not an expert on human psychology but there is something that happens when two people speak in person that makes us more understanding. If I had to guess it has to do with what is communicated in our speech and body language that makes us see each other as humans.
Don’t bother with Subtlety
This goes back to the point I made earlier about exaggerating your intentions. The reverse applies to communicating subtle nuances. Don’t bother. We only read the parts we want and will either misinterpret your careful nuance or just miss it altogether. Face it everyone needs to write on a daily basis but we’re not all great writers. Including my self. So why not just focus on being as clear as possible about what you’re trying to communicate?
Reread what you wrote at least twice aloud
There are really two reasons for this. The first is that it’s a good habit to get into because you will catch grammatical mistakes. The second is that it always sounds different in your head than aloud. The last reason is maybe a sub bullet of the first but I believe that taking the time to reread what you write and demonstrate that you made an attempt to sound coherent is sign of respect to the person that you are writing to. It says I value your time and don’t think you deserve to decipher my brain dump word garble that I just vomited via my keyboard. 
Or even better have someone else read it!
Thanks for reading! I hope you got something out of this. I enjoyed writing it and hope you read this as it was well intended 
As always, all feedback welcome.
All the best,
-ts
